Why?
Stan and Donna have been in South Africa for 12 years. We have been teaching at Bible Institute Eastern Cape. We had students from all walks of life and just about every age. It seems the longer we are here the deeper we get into the personal lives and culture of the people. Donna taught counseling. She incorporated marriage and HIV as major portions of the course.
Teaching in another culture causes us to do more study and causes us to try very hard to apply the scripture and lessons to that culture. Over the years we have discovered that Port Elizabeth has a 70% divorce rate. This is across the races and in the church and outside the church. Of course the question is “why?”
• A large portion of the churches are not teaching about Biblical foundations of marriage.
• Some churches are telling the young men to find wives outside the church.
• It is customary for the husband to pay lobola (bride price). As a result of the bride price custom the parents of the girl are pushing the girl to marry someone with money even though he may not be a believer or he may be an immature believer.
• Presently there is very little preparation before the marriage. Only some parents are now talking to their children about male/female differences and relationships. Men and women do not understand each other. Those who do premarital counseling say that something better needs to happen because by the time they get to marriage counseling “the bride already has her dress,” (meaning the couple have already decided to get married and are really not listening to the pastor).
• Some couples report that if the wife is working she spends the money the way she sees fit. Others report that one of the members of the marriage may be sending money to parents and not talking with the wife about this.
• Sometimes the parents are putting pressure on the couple to follow their advice indicating that for one reason or another leaving and cleaving has not been done.
• South Africa is not immune to westernization/globalization and the effects of feminism. Equality is promoted in the government and the work place. Churches are grappling with what all this means for their denominations and churches. As men and women in the cities are changing and culture is changing they need to know what the Bible says about life.
Oct
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